Old Porn

 

Dark-eyed, bronze-skinned, and curvy — “Susie,” my all-time favourite porno girl, was a bouncy Hungarian gypsy.

 

Beyond the obvious, I think what excited me about her was the attitude of generous, unguarded tractability she always adopted as she opened up her softness to the hard male bodies that, alone or severally, pressed into her with such wanton persistence.

 

Amidst the obscene insertions, she remained serene — a pliant aquatic bloom shifting lazily in the current. Gladly, it seemed, and unaltered, she yielded to the groping and the prodding and the feverish thrusting that her body inspired.

 

I was sorry when, over the years, I noticed how she coarsened; how she learned to withhold and merely to go through the motions; how, rattling with counterfeit rapture, she long-sufferingly rode out what she could no longer construe as anything more than yet another dreary defilement. All the fun had bled out, and with it all the artless charm — leaving only a hard-faced whore’s mask of impermeable boredom.

 

Still, I wish her well. We were young together — trusting, misguided, unready. So full of life! Each in our own way, we did gamely seek to fulfil its sparkling promise. Only once it became apparent that our brittle hopes would, alas, never avail, did we learn to disguise our goodness and abide in wistful concealment.